I have a very personal connection with art which is very hard to explain. All my life I have experienced difficulties because I have ASD. I have a speech & language disorder that is emotional and pragmatic. Although I have had some success in other academic areas, it is in art and design where my real passion and talent lies.
Art can have an impact on me in many ways not just for therapy but it’s something that helps express myself that I find difficult in other ways that I can’t. I am often very self critical and focus too much on what I should achieve rather than what I’ve achieved.
I think this would be ideal for me to show what I can offer for the project. My mum told me that my first teacher said that she found it frustrating working with me because I was so distant but at the same time very biddable (my mother’s words!) She described her relationships with me as if she was dealing with me through a piece of glass! I understand this and it’s this kind of imagery I use now in my art to explain my condition.
To some people I might as well have come from Mars because they don’t get me and it sometimes as if they don’t want to get me. I am interested in the social model of disability and how we have to conform to society’s norms no matter how difficult in order to be accepted be brave or overcome your disability.
Recently, through my time at Skimstone Arts I have realised that I can say something about my condition through my art. The new technologies I’m trying and the ideas are very empowering and although it’s a slow process I feel I’m getting there. I would love the chance to do the residency with Skimstone Arts because I would have a week to really concentrate on the ideas and work in progress in a supportive environment.
Also I’d love to be able to have my work acknowledged and it would be great to have a chance to exhibit. Don’t like things attach to me feelings stigma that’s why I don’t put things out there. Part of autism is that we don’t want to be seen. It’s a way to cope, put barriers in place so people can’t react to us. We avoid being misunderstood or misunderstanding others. I tend to internalise things more. Never feel good enough as I try hard to find reassurance from others but never quite get there. Skimstone Arts has been a good place to come and explore how to express yourself through art.
Presently developing photographic art work